Monday, January 10, 2022

The Red Robe

We are Auburn people. We do not do houndstooth. We do not do red, in any shade...crimson (especially crimson) maroon, scarlet, burgundy, ruby or tomato. I have many Alabama friends and I love them, but I do not like their football team. They know this and accept it. In all honesty, they don't like my team either. Occasionally one of them will declare, quite magnanimously, "I pull for Auburn, except during the Iron Bowl." Yeah, it's easy to be bighearted when your team is in the National Championship Game...Every. Single. Year.  When JD was trying to decide where he wanted to go to college, he visited Mississippi State. He asked his dad if he would wear Mississippi State maroon if that's the college he chose. Scott didn't elaborate. He just said, "Nope." Apparently Rob, an Auburn graduate himself, does not understand this concept. I'm not sure where it came from, but at some point a red, terry cloth robe showed up in our house, perhaps left by an Alabama friend trying to mess with our minds. Anyway, Rob found it and adopted it. Like a pet. And now the darn thing shows up at the oddest times. The first time I realized we had a problem was in January a few years ago. Rob was packing to go back to Auburn. He came downstairs wearing THE ROBE and some navy house shoes his grandmother had given him for Christmas. He was loading his truck, his filthy truck, and while I thought it strange he hadn't dressed to go back to school before he began packing up, it did not occur to me that he wouldn't change clothes before he left. He didn't. I asked, "Why?"  He said, "I'm comfortable." I asked, "What if you get stopped?" He said, "I won't." And off he went, to the land of orange and blue in a red robe. Now it must be told, he did actually have on clothes under THE ROBE, but, still, he had on a red robe and house shoes. And his truck was still filthy. 

I shared this with my friends on Facebook. The memory pops up every year and the legend of THE ROBE grows. Sort of like the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, only it's the Brotherhood of the Red Robe. Rob's friend, JP, said THE ROBE traveled with them to the beach once. He thought he had a picture of Rob wearing THE ROBE on the beach feeding seagulls. Sure enough, he did. I couldn't believe it. There's Rob, in the red robe, standing on a beach chair feeding the birds. 

Rob is now in Arizona. Red is much more acceptable out there, at least for us. People can just assume he is a Sun Devil. And THE ROBE is still proving its use. The boys were invited to a Halloween party this past October. JD went as the baby toting, Alan Garner, from The Hangover. Rob, having been in Austin for a month and not having time to pull together a costume, pulled out THE ROBE, the slippers and a pipe and went as Hugh Hefner. Now I think, we are stuck with THE ROBE forever. It will be handed down to future generations as a priceless artifact. Stories will be told about THE ROBE and they will be embellished. It will grow in relevance and will, I expect, be endowed with great powers, a totem, if you will. In the meantime, I wonder what will be the next great adventure for Rob's red robe. Stay tuned!

Three Friends and a Fork
Three Friends and a Fork

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